First of all, he must look to find a good girl, who will be suited to him, because everybody is suited to different personalities and different people. He should not look for a girl who is beautiful or rich, but first and foremost, for a humble and sensible girl. In other words, he should give more worth to inner beauty, and not to outer beauty. When the girl is a positive person, and is gifted with courage, that is, she is not an overly weak character, this will help the young man to find understanding, so that he is not always worrying. If he also has the fear of God (he is a pious and humble person), then they can pass through the dangerous currents of this world hand-in-hand, unharmed.

If a young man is seriously thinking about making a girl his wife, I think it is better that he gets a close relation of his to make this known to the girl’s parents, and then to discuss it in person with them and with the girl, once he has ‘tested the waters’, so to speak. Following this, if they get engaged, it is best for the engagement not to last a long time. During the period of the engagement, he must try as hard as he can to think of the girl as a sister, and to respect her. If they both struggle diligently to preserve their purity, then during the Mystery of Marriage, when the priest crowns them, they will receive the grace of God abundantly. As St John Chrysostom tell us, the crowns are a symbol of the couple’s victory against lust.

After the marriage, the couple should strive as much as possible to cultivate the virtue of love, so that they may stay united always, and so that a Third Person, our sweet Lord, may also be with them always. Of course, in the beginning, until they settle down and they get to know each other well, the couple may experience some difficulty.

That is always the case with every beginning. Yesterday, for example, I saw a little bird. It had just emerged to find some food for itself, and it was flying about an inch from the ground. The poor thing did not know how to catch its prey easily, and it took him ages to catch a little insect and eat it. As I was observing it, I found myself thinking how every beginning is difficult. When a university student gets their degree and begins full-time work, he finds it difficult initially. Likewise, the person who goes to the monastery to become a monk finds it difficult at the start. In the same way, the young person that marries will meet difficulties at the beginning, but he must persevere.